(image source Wikipedia)
When any kid lie to their parent, it will but obvious that any parent will be hurt. And as a parent, it will definitely make you angry and you take all things personally. On that lying basis a parent will start feel that they can never trust their child again. Why does lying cause such an anger to parent. On contrary you have to handle this situation very smoothly and delicately.
Parents are very afraid of their child getting hurt and getting in trouble, but as a parent you don’t have any protection against this things as you have to send your kids out in this world to be with the world. Kids learn from other kids and from media also and it definitely makes parents feel unsafe, as they can’t control the information and ideas that are shared to children’s. Bad ideas and false views are just injected into kids mind through some media or any adult. This is very hard for a parent to keep control on this things happening and to protect them from all this harmful ideas and views..
Lying is the skill which all children learn early or late. It is a tool to avoiding blame or punishments, and be free from bad self image.
Sometimes children’s lie because they are terribly afraid of disappointing their parents or losing their love. While its very healthy for your child to be developing a conscience and hence to regret bad behavior, you don’t want him to feel that he losses a bit of your regards every time he makes a mistake. Children lie also because they are overwhelmed at school or in their social lives and need help in dealing with the pressure.
Your kid s honesty is the connectivity between the outside world and you. You need to tell your kid to be honest and tell them to share all things what’s happening in outside world with you. And is your duty to hear all the talks which your child is telling you, in order to decide whether they are going in right direction or no.
The most common reasons for lying, particularly among young child is a fear of punishments. This makes very true when the punishments given to child is severe or the when the parents expectation is very high. Repeated lying can be a sign of several underlying problems, each one requires a different response from parents.
Kids are taught that lying is not good, it may hurt someone but they don’t see it as a hurtful. So kids will say that I know it’s wrong that I ate chocolates more when I m not supposed to.”But who does it hurt it?” So they will say that if its not hurting anyone they can lie.
So when they don’t see as hurtful, there are 2 kinds of value system operates here ::
One is the family value system which says its forbidden and the other is kids value system that says it’s not hurting anyone, then it’s OK for kids. So now its we who have to find way out for the kids and ourselves.