WHY DO KIDS LIE TO THEIR PARENTS PART-2

        

                                                                                 (image source Wikipedia)

Whenever you ask your child why do you hide things from me or why do you lie?The answer to your question will always be that, “because you scold me mamma”.So to be away from scolding and to defend themselves from scoldings and anger of parents they will lie to parents. Lies told to get rid of discipline can put you in a difficult position because if you punish your child every time he admits to doing something wrong, he may decide he is better of lying because sometimes he gets away with it. But if you don’t punish him, the behavior won’t change. And it gets more complicated if you actually punish the child for lying as well as for the original infraction. According to one study, parents who use moral principle to explain that lying is wrong reduced the frequency of their children lying, while punishment for lying increased the frequency of lies.

Parents should hold their kids responsible for lying. But the mistake parents make is when they starting blaming the kid for lying. It’s considered immoral to lie. But when you look at your kid like he is a sneak and an operator who is undermining your authority, it’s a slippery slop where it starts with “you lie” and “you’re a bad person”. I think this perception of your kids promotes more lying. If your child thinks you think he is bad, he is going to hide the truth from you even more. Even though they are lying, kids don’t want their parents to be disappointed.

So parents have to assume that kids are going to tell lies, because they are immature and they don’t understand how hurtful these things are. They are also drawn towards excitements, and their parents aren’t. It’s not like the good kids aren’t drawn to excitements and risk and the bad kids are. It’s not that good kids don’t tell lies and bad kids do lie. They are all drawn to excitements and they will all have a tendency to distort the truth because they are kids yet..

For older children, chronic lying is often a rebellion against restrictions. It is a way to challenge a parents authority. Preteens no longer feel they must tell their parents everything they do, they may respond with a lie to what they perceive as intrusive questions. As they grow older, kids realize tht the greatest control they can have is the control of information. Generally the more involved the parents are, the more likely it is that kids will omit the information from parents by lying. For example if parents ask “where were you till now”?  “They reply nowhere,:” “what activates you did in your friend’s birthday party”, they say “nothing”, “who were there with you there”? They say “you don’t know them”.

But repeated lies about social status are a sign of trouble. They tell you that the kid has bad attitude about himself. Ask yourself what s the reason behind. They might be feeling humiliated or worthless, or is he being ignored? Or has anyone making fool of them?

If you suspect your child is deceiving you for one of this reasons, have a heart-to-heart conversation with your kids, encouraging him to express his anxieties. As the child is growing up it is said to lower your expectation so that he can achieve success in more manageable steps, which will strengthen his self confidence. Also give your child assurance that you will always love them, no matter what he says or does.

Deal with the lying child carefully and effectively.